


Shiawase ga kantan desu (Happiness is easy)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Awkwardness, Confessions, Fluff, France (Country), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 11:05:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16407275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Yuya saw it.He saw the fear in his eyes at that perspective, at the possibility he had deluded himself all over again. And he acted fast, because he had hurt him enough already.





	Shiawase ga kantan desu (Happiness is easy)

 

When Yuya and Yuri had arrived to Riom, the elder had felt definitely off.

Since the day before, there had been a certain atmosphere between him and Yuri which he couldn’t define, and once they had arrived at the farm a silence had fallen between them that neither seemed to be able to fill.

They hadn't made any effort to mask the tension when they had realized they had mistaken their destination, and they still dragged along hints of last night’s nervousness. And Yuya had to admit it, that had been mainly his fault.

But that wasn’t the problem, and he knew it.

When they had ended up sleeping in the same bed the night before they had laughed about it, but the elder hadn't failed to notice how neither of them had been particularly comfortable with the whole situation.

And right now he felt even worse. He had tried to do his best to find somewhere to spend the night, he could see Yuri was tired and cold, and he couldn’t even begin to describe how glad he had been to finally have found a suitable place; but now the silence was back and he was seriously starting to hope that the younger was going to fill it or to fall asleep instead, because he wasn’t sure he could’ve born through it much longer.

“Are you tired?” he asked then to break the ice, pretending to be really interested to the outbuilding’s floor.

By the corner of his eye he saw him shrug and fidget under the blanket.

“I'm tired, after today. But I'm not particularly sleepy.”

Takaki nodded, trying to hold back a disconsolate sigh.

There was a hundred things he wanted to say and do right now, and he was sure that none was the right one.

He could remember perfectly the moment when, a few years back, Yuri had confessed to him. And he remembered how uncomfortable he had felt having to reject him, he remembered how his words had caught him off guard.

They both had learnt to live with it in time, and to forget it had ever happened, but never like now Yuya had found himself thinking about what would’ve actually happened if he had just considered him.

Yuri was so young, back then. Too young for him to think about him, and the fact that he wasn’t anymore, that he didn’t see him as a kid now, was enough to confuse him.

He wanted to ask if he still felt something for him, but he realized how hypocrite such a question would’ve sounded.

Unsure as to what to do he snorted and turned his back on him, laying down under the blanket and closing his eyes, already aware that he was going to have trouble sleeping for yet another night.

He heard Yuri sigh behind him and clenched his eyes even harder to prevent himself from reacting in any way he might’ve regretted later.

He muttered a goodnight to the younger and then he kept still long enough to let him believe he was sleeping.

He heard him breathing unevenly, and he knew he wasn’t sleeping either, but that wasn’t enough to have him make the first move either.

What right did he have, after all, to tell him something?

Every chance was prohibited to him because there was nothing he could do without being a hypocrite, nor he could demand for Yuri to ask for his attention again, to ask for something which he had already been denied in the past.

He wanted to cry, and he hated himself for it.

He didn’t know how long it had been since he had closed his eyes, must’ve been something like half an hour, and then he felt the blanket shifting and Yuri get closer to him.

He didn’t have time to react, the younger slipped an arm around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder and sighing once again.

“Yuu...” he murmured. “Why are you acting like this?”

That sudden touch made him freeze, but he managed to recover quick enough to sit up, blushing.

“How, Yuri?” he asked nonchalantly, crossing his arms on his chest and staring at the floor, well set into not looking at him.

The younger snorted, shaking his head.

“You know how. You’ve been weird with me since yesterday. Well, to think about it, you’ve been weird since we’ve arrived here, and I really wish I knew why. Did I do something to you without realizing it? Please, tell me. I’d rather you’d do that, instead of mulling over...”

Yuya raised his arms, as if surrendering.

“No. No, Yuri, you didn’t do anything. It’s a problem of mine, don’t think too much about it. It’s not worth it.”

Chinen arched an eyebrow and lowered his head enough to force the elder to look into his eyes, whether he wanted to or not.

“Yes, it is. Let me decide whether I want to think about it or not. It’s not fair for you to act like this without telling me why.” he complained.

Yuya sighed, shaking his head.

He hesitatingly brought an arm around Yuri’s shoulders and pulled him closer until he was resting against him, closing his eyes.

“I'm sorry, Yu.” he murmured. “I'm sorry, I wish I could be able to say what I...” he stopped, sure that whatever he was going to say would’ve forced him to give too much away, more than he actually wanted to. He decided to take this the hard way, and took a more generic subject. “I got it, you know? With time I’ve begun to understand the indifference walking beside you, the one you must’ve felt when I told you...” again he stopped, letting Yuri fill the gap by himself. “And I’ve told myself a thousand times that if I could go back, perhaps I would’ve made different choices. But here we are, I can't go back and what I told you is going to stay there. I know I can't ask for anything and that I can't tear you away from that indifference and the way I made you feel, Yuri, but...”

“Yuya.” the younger stopped him, peremptory, sitting straight and looking into his eyes, dead serious. “Are... are you trying to say what I think you are? Because if that’s not the case stop now, before it’s too late.”

Yuya saw it.

He saw the fear in his eyes at that perspective, at the possibility he had deluded himself all over again. And he acted fast, because he had hurt him enough already; he hugged him, holding him tight against himself.

Yuri froze, as if he was so surprised he couldn’t move, and only when the elder pulled away he met his movements, letting their lips meet, kissing him like Yuya was kissing him.

For Yuya it was like an annihilating explosion of feelings, all those he had kept to himself until now found release in the younger’s mouth, tasting his flavour and registering it in a corner of him might, alongside the feeling of having him between his arms, alongside the scent of his skin, and all of the things he wished he could’ve gotten used to.

Once they pulled away they went back under the blanket, and Yuya seemed to have no intention whatsoever to let Yuri go.

He was looking straight into his eyes, and there were dozens of things he wanted to say to him, but as soon as he started talking the younger shook his head, resting his head against his chest and making useless attempts at stopping smiling.

“Tomorrow, Yuu. We’re going to have time to talk tomorrow.”

The elder, on his part, didn’t fight his request.

He was tired, he was still overwhelmed, and he knew that nothing but a good night sleep could’ve put some order to the tangle of thoughts running through his head.

All the more if he could’ve finally slept in peace, all the more if he had Yuri next to him the way he wanted him.

There was going to be the next day for explanations. For now, Yuya just wanted to relish the feeling of how easy that happiness was.


End file.
